It is the year 2015 but sometimes the best content to explain one’s frustrations in life was already discussed and worked out years before. Let’s rewind time. In 2001, the underground Pick-Up-Artist community was just starting out in online forums and discussion boards. The internet was the tool that allowed many sub-cultures to develop from people of similar interests, passions, and obsessions to come together to discuss the issues that concerned them the most.
Trying to meet, and attract beautiful women to date, have sex with, and marry has been a desire and focus for young men of our species since time began. Young men has always desired to find some type of magic spell or potion to get attractive girls to like them as much as they like the girls. When two females get together, almost always inevitably the conversation lead to talking about dating, sex and relationships. Relationships are complicate, just like the desires, needs, and hangups in people. This is why humans find inter-dynamic drama between humans so interesting. Psychology is well known as one of the most common college majors because people are so fascinated with themselves and how their own minds work. We are the subject of most of our fascination, if not obsessions. Millions of books have been written about the human experience in the areas of sociology, ethnic studies, memoirs, and psychology. It is a very selfish behavior but that is what we are made of.
Drama is what makes the boredom of our everyday lives go away. The baby-internet allowed for this ancient practice of attracting a “hot” female to be focused at a higher intensity until it caused a complete global phenomena. Young men today now know about the art of picking up girls because the internet has been so effective in getting messages and information to spread to all the people in the world.
Finding the best mate possible is obviously one of the most critical and resource intensive endeavors one will take in life, if not the most critical since we are just animals. We are born, we breathe, we eat, we defecate, we look for a mate to reproduce with to pass on our genes (unconsciously ala The Selfish Gene), we have sex, we have offspring, we raise our offspring to an age which they can fend for themselves and have offspring of their own, we grow old, we die. As males of our species, we have hundreds of millions of sperm at any one moment compared to the fertilizing female egg, which is only a few hundred throughout her lifetime. From just a biological resource point of view, the females are the bottle neck in our species, from turning into a virus that just overruns the entire planet. Females will always do the choosing of which male mating partner is worthy of having sex with. Accept that as a normal, healthy, horny, sex-desiring heterosexual male, you will never have the type of power as a female when it comes to accessibility for a reproductive partner.
What is well known is that there is a minority group of men, whether 1% or 10% , which will have more sexual opportunities and chances than the rest (99% or 90%). What makes these men different from the rest of the men who don’t get as many chances to have reproductive success is that they are considered more valuable in females eyes than the others. If you lines up all 3.5 Billion men in a row and let the other 3.5 billion females choose, obviously any person looking at the data of female selection will notice some obvious patterns.
The most obvious of all these patterns is that females on average, want their mating male partners to be bigger aka taller than them, and more than that, taller than the average height of the males in their local tribe. For the longest time, size in terms of height or stature was the most dominant factor when it comes to what females find attractive. We know from epidemiologists that the average height of a nation is an extremely accurate and good predictor of the quality of life in one’s country. There are exceptions, (like Bosnia, Senegal and South Sudan) but the general principle is that taller people on average indicate that they have better genes and fitness, from million years of evolutionary development.
When humans moved further away from the monkeys , turning from paleolithic/hunter-gatherer to farmer/grower and began to call themselves “civilized” the concept of 1) money, 2) land ownership, and 3) property (number of cattle, camels, pigs) became the 2nd concept of value which women started to believe in. Being wealthy and having land and resources became the 2nd core factor of what women found valuable since we have become “civilized”.
However, civilization has only been going on for 10,000 years so far. Evolution and what we are hard-wired to behave has been around for 1 million years. As animals, the female sex has the brain instinctually program to desire men who are bigger/taller. Taller men on average have higher levels of testosterone levels, and exhibit slightly higher levels of violent/dominant tendencies and behavior. In any prehistoric tribe, there may have been only 50 individuals. Out of the 50, maybe only 5-7 females are in their reproductive years. Based on the higher birth rate of male/female, there would be around 6-9 men for the 5-7 females. This means that certain men will fail to pass on their genes. Back in the prehistoric age, you can not show off your bank account to impressive women. As a young, virile, horny man you only have a few ways. You show off your strength, your courage, or your dominance. Being clever, witty, or with a good sense of humor helps on occasion in getting 1 girl out of the 7 to find a slightly weaker men “cute” or “adorable” and she might choose him, but any level of jealousy from the larger men who are more violent means the smaller guy who might be less capable gets killed over the larger guys wanting to take more women for themselves, ala harem style.
Dominance among men in tribes is most easily established through greater height. It can also be established from being wider in torso, with broad shoulders, large arms, and large hands. However, physiologically speaking, all boys fill out as they turn into older real men. This means that the factor of bulk/width is negated. You can’t exercise your way to longer bones or taller height. Almost all men can over time exercise to become wider and more muscular. This means that no matter how much the shorter man tries to exercise to make themselves wider aka “bigger”, their effort can be negated by the taller male who puts in some effort and makes them just as wide as the shorter men. Based on proportions alone (shoulder bone size), the taller men putting in the same level of effort can become wider (on average) than the shorter man.
As it was famously claimed by the UK based program Secrets of the Sexes – Episode 2: Attraction (Documentary) who looked at what attracted women to men, one of the researchers just said “Just be tall. Don’t go to the gym, don’t exercise. Just be tall“. This reveals something which will aggravate all men. As men we are proactive and take a lot of action and initiative in what we want. When we want something, most of us will do the work to reach our goals. We are strivers. We are willing to spend hours in the gym to work our bodies to look better in front of the mirror, but there is nothing that we can do to get taller. This is what puts the short guy into a bind. We are stuck in a position which we can’t control.
Ultimately, I go back to the most famous phrase ever used in the original PUA community. Attraction is not a choice- David DeAngelo.
Basically, women can not choose to mate/breed with the shorter men since their brains were not developed to think that way. There will be exceptions to any rule, with a minority of women being okay with mating with someone shorter than them, but the general rule is that for men, being taller is better. There are some disadvantages of being tall like not being able to fit in airplane seats, not finding long enough pants, etc. but those problems are more nuisances which are the result of “civilization”. If you really asked tall men if they are willing to trade their tall height for having a more convenient life, most would refuse since they understand at some level that they are “better” than their shorter peers. They can be extremely ignorant, uneducated, and crass, but they will still find great confidence and happiness in being taller than their more successful and rich male peers. That is their form of identity which they can use to ride out the struggle and disappointment that each human has to deal with in life. For some men, being taller than others can be the most important factor in life since they have nothing else to be proud of.
Have anyone ever noticed why does it seem like the most obnoxious vocal racists always seem to be (stereotypically) southern, hill-billy, red-neck hicks who are not well educated and don’t have a lot of money? – The real answer is psychological which stems from a ego defense mechanism known as compensation. Because being “white” is the only thing that they have that they can put their identity to to make themselves feel better about themselves. They may be poor, uneducated, uncouth, and crass, but they are “white”. The white red-neck can look at his more well-off rich, educated black neighbors but still believe that they are better than their neighbor because they are “white”. No matter what happens, you can’t take their identity, their “whiteness” away. Eventually the issue of “race” becomes what they decide to focus their energy, time, and effort on. They want to preserve what they think is their primary source of identity. The KKK could be a reaction response to the fact that the old black slaves have started to do better in life than the poor whites, who felt their sense of superiority slipping. The KKK want to keep the black american population down at the bottom, to validate their own self-worth. This is exactly the same as height. Once you are white or “tall”, that doesn’t go away no matter how badly you screw up your life and how many poor choices and decisions you make. You will always have the fact that you are intrinsically white/tall to fall back upon psychologically to sooth any damaged ego. The human mind is really ingenious in that way.
I do frequent the reddit.com/r/short sub-group and a recent thread (available here) does have one women just being probably as honest with her feelings as possible. A responder would write to her and explain in words why she is trying to absolve herself of being accountable but this is what this guy doesn’t get. Words are useless. Being angry at a women for bashing and talking shit about short men does nothing except make her resolve and opinions stronger. Trying to convince a women by talking with them that they are being “illogical” or “not rational” or “not make any sense” doesn’t work.
What these type of women are really saying is this message…
I know myself, and I know what I like. I don’t give a fuck about what you say, and I don’t care what you think (maybe I used to when I was younger and more naive and concerned about the opinions of other people but not anymore) since I am going to live my life as I want to. Nothing you say or write out into words is going to make me change my mind or what I have felt most of my life. Maybe this automatic reaction and feeling I have is not completely organic but manufactured from hollywood & media marketing but I just can’t help it. Deal with It.
When the women than adds something like “my last boyfriend was 6′ 4″ this is their way of saying to future men who wish to be her potential future romantic partner that they literally don’t measure up to what the girl expects in a guy, from her references in her past experience. This is also a way for the women, who could be very young, nubile, extremely attractive, and highly prized to filter out men. Height is probably the best, most effective way to filter out a large portion of men out of their selection pool. (remember, having too many choices is a bad thing. Having less choices makes it easier). With anything else, any other factor, like education level, level of hygiene, fashion sense, income level, ownership of property, the men the female previously rejected can take their rejection and use their bitterness/anger as fuel to better themselves in that area of life and then come back to the girl to prove her wrong and then show off their new improved life. The height filter is amazingly effective in making sure that the millions of men who would want to mate with the attractive female can never come back into the picture (aka potential mating partner in the selection process/pool) since they can’t change that area of their life.
Half of the time, the girl can be a real bitch and use intentionally to inflict emotional daggers at men that to hurt/piss off men who are shorter than their arbitrary height requirements, but for the other half, it is a way to let go of certain men who are chasing after her nonstop by giving an excuse that the guy can not back from aka letting them down easily (instead of saying to the guy’s face” I am just not attracted to you”). Height requirements is an effective rule of thumb to follow in making a mate selection choice. Some men do it too, but not to the same level or degree.
I may not have been part of the PUA scene which had been big maybe a decade ago, but the old David DeAngelo phrase “Attraction is not a choice” is the most succinct phrase to explain females preference for taller men than anything I could have thought of. For short men and brothers out there, we are at an advantage being given the short end of the stick in terms of genetics, but that is okay since height is the not only factor that effects how women will look at us. There are things we can do. Few of us will never face rejection. Almost no men will get every single girl he wants.
Sometimes no matter how much we do accomplish and make in terms of money, we still can’t win against the taller guy, because we are just animals acting out our neurological patterns which have been pre-programmed into our heads from birth. Shorter men have to try harder, and that is the way life operates. Stop complaining. Accept it.
So is there nothing we can do as men who have it harder than others? What can we do? – Become Mister Right. Think Different.